


all of your glory

by Eoki



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Black Mirror AU, F/F, Grief/Mourning, One Shot, SuperCorp, be right back 2x01, not san junipero
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 17:25:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10881501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eoki/pseuds/Eoki
Summary: lena always thought that she'd be the one who'd leave kara behind, not the other way around. when she can't accept a world without kara danvers, she does everything to try to bring her back.but things don't go as planned.ora messy black mirror au with supercorp angst.





	all of your glory

**Author's Note:**

> started this during the long hiatus and lowkey lost motivation for it.  
> i just wanted to get this out of my drafts so here it is.  
> i've seen a few black mirror fics and they're mostly san junipero AUs so i kinda wanted to do something different. this was based off 2x01, be right back.  
> plz dun h8 me i dun kno why i enjoy writing angst.

It happens when everyone least expects it, it happens suddenly, swiftly, in the dead of the night when the entire city sleeps.

Supergirl is _dead_.

It’s printed on the headlines of every newspaper in National City, followed by the insensitive speculations of curious journalists. The details are only known by a selective handful, the ones who mourn the death of Kara Danvers.

Upon hearing the heartbreaking news, Cat Grant is on the first plane back to National City. Though this is merely just the beginning of grief working its way through the hearts of everyone who loved Kara.

They try their best to cope, to weather the storm. But maybe, some don’t make it through the storm.

The older Danvers is the first to break, it came as heavy, broken sobs in the middle of the night in her girlfriend’s arms, followed by the darkening eye circles and the massive influx of alcohol in her system. She doesn’t weep over the loss of a hero, she weeps because she’s lost her confident, her best friend, her only sister. She weeps for the loss of Kara.

Following shortly, it’s the vigilante. His grief is accompanied by the departure of the famous photojournalist and acting CEO of CatCo Worldwide Media, James Olsen. He came to National City for a fresh start, and also as a favour to Superman to keep an eye on his cousin. Tormented by a tremendous amount of self blame, he returns to Metropolis, he can’t help but feel like he’s let his best friend down, he let Kara down.

Agent Schott hides in his house for days on days, attempting to rewatching every single Star Wars film to ever existed. Yet, he’s barely ten minutes into the first film when he realises something is amiss. It doesn’t give him the same warm feeling of bubbling happiness, he doesn’t feel the same sense of excitement. Something was missing, someone was missing — Kara. 

The Green Martian flies over the city, soaking in the night skies and the phantom of Supergirl. He shuts his eyes and pictures the Kryptonian with her arms stretched out next to him, momentarily, it’s as if he feels her presence. J’onn remembers the last time he cried was for his daughters, his family when they were harshly stolen from him. A single tear push past his lashes and leaves a streak down his cheek, Kara was family. 

It doesn’t register in the Luthor’s head initially, she hears the news, she sees the reports, but nothing is really cemented. Not even when Alex sits in her apartment to share the gnarly details of Supergirl’s passing. Nothing seems real when Alex speaks, though she only catches certain words like ‘inter-dimensional’, ‘bounty hunter’ and ‘dead’. Lena merely sits with Alex as the air around them fills with sorrow, they stare into nothingness with heavy hearts and fists balled so tightly into fists.

“ Just before she … passed, “ Alex stops in her tracks with her hand on the door knob, “ she told me to tell you this. “ 

Alex has to pause because the memory of her sister’s last words sting. Lena turns her head to face the agent slightly, her eyes are a little puffy and red from her tears.

“ I love you and I’ll always come back to you. “

Grief comes in waves, the first hits and she’s instantly caught in the undertow. She swallows while her heart wrenches with sorrow. Only when Alex shuts the door behind her does Lena dare to let herself cry. It isn’t the kind of noisy sobbing with running snot, but rather the silent kind that no one is aware of. The Luthor hugs her legs close to her chest and rests her head on her knees. She stares at the spot on the couch where Alex had been sitting, but all she sees is Kara’s favourite spot on the couch.

And she’s reminded of the fact that Kara _never_ came back that day.

Lena remembers the day clearly, rather, yesterday, she’s had a short day at work. They’ve had a successful experiment testing intelligent synthetic flesh and Lena decided to give everyone a break after working so hard for months. The Luthor came home early with groceries to prepare a nice meal for the Kryptonian when she came back. Before she knew it, the heavens had filled with stars despite the stormy clouds and Lena’s seated at the table with a glass of wine waiting for the reporter to step through the door. Kara had left a call, something along the lines of an alien wreaking havoc in the city. It was a fast call, Lena didn’t even have time to say anything apart from an ‘okay’ before the hero hung up. And the next thing she remembers is getting a call from Alex.

“ _K-Kara … She’s dead_. “

Lena doesn’t remember much after that, only that she never told Kara to be careful.

* * *

 

_“ Kara? “_

_The Kryptonian hums quietly with her eyes still shut, burying herself further in the sheets, still wanting to catch a few more minutes of sleep after a long and dangerous fight the night before. She’s been holding back her feelings, not wanting to overwhelm the Kryptonian the moment she returned. So she waits till dawn arrives after a whole night of tossing and turning._

_“ Will you promise me something? “_

_Kara’s eyes open lazily and they focus on the Luthor’s green orbs. “ Anything for you, “ she whispers raspily as she reaches out and trails her fingers down Lena’s cheek._

_“ Promise me you’ll try come back no matter what. “ Lena speaks with the slightest crack in her voice and Kara feels a surge of overwhelming guilt._

_“ You know I will. “ the hero pulls the CEO closer to her chest and leaves a soft kiss on her forehead, “ I’m sorry for worrying you last night. “_

_“ You knew? “ the Luthor looks up at the Kryptonian._

_“ There’s a reason why I’m clinging onto you so tightly now, “ Kara retorts with a soft chuckle, “ well, other than the fact that I really like you in my arms. “_

_Lena lets a soft giggle escape her lips as she buries her face further into Kara’s chest, inhaling her scent and soaking in the warmth only the Kryptonian can provide._

_“ You don’t have to be afraid, I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. Don’t forget that I’ll always come back to you. “_

_“ I won’t. “_

* * *

 

Some part of her still expects Kara Danvers to waltz into her office as usual, she still expects Supergirl to land on her balcony late at night reminding her to go home.

Lena keeps waiting — but Kara no longer shows up.

The moon seems to shine the brightest on the nights where she needed Kara the most and it almost feels like Kara is trying to reach out to her.

The second wave of mourning hits the Luthor a week after Supergirl’s demise and she’s already struggling to keep afloat. She finds an article of clothing in the mess of her apartment —an all too familiar sweatshirt. It’s in the wee hours of the morning, she’s poured herself a glass of wine and she’s seated on the couch. Lena hardly sleeps now, for all her nightmares are just variations of Kara’s death. 

Her blurry vision slowly clears up as her eyes fixate on the light grey sweatshirt hidden under a pillow, it’s the one that Lena never really liked much but Kara always wore it when she slept over. The Luthor places her glass on the coffee table and shakily reaches out for the soft fabric, afraid that it would disappear just as the Kryptonian did. Her fingertips trace over the sleeves and she gently hugs it closer to her chest.

A whiff of her girlfriend hangs in the air and Lena’s hands tremble, she can’t bring herself to be anywhere except for her office, anywhere else just seemed a little too much for her. She hasn’t left her office much since it happened, drowning herself in work seemed like a much better option compared to processing her grief. It’s only after Jess’ insistent persuasion does she make a trip back to her home — no, house, it’s too empty to be a home, it’s not the same without Kara, and it _won’t_ ever be the same again. 

She tightens her hold on the sweatshirt and shuts her eyes, breathing in Kara’s scent. She lets a small smile slip through her lips, the first smile since she lost Kara. Lena still remembers the first night Kara wore this sweatshirt, it was a little chilly and even though the Kryptonian isn’t affected by the cold, she was insistent on wearing it, only because it held a faint scent of the Luthor. 

Now, all it smells like is Kara. And all she can think of is Kara, of her absence and everything they could’ve been.

Anguish tugs away at her heart, and she clenches her fists tightly, forcing away the tears that threaten to spill. She knows she’s strong enough to push through this, she’s lost Lex, she can handle losing Kara. 

_ Or at least she thinks she can. _

* * *

 

_“ What are you doing, Lena? “ Kara giggles while her girlfriend leads her by the hand._

_Lena says in a sing song voice, “ It’s a surprise, I can’t tell you. “_

_“ Did Alex tell you about Earth birthday? “ Lena sees the crinkle forming between Kara’s eyebrows despite the blindfold covering her eyes._

_“ No, what’s that? “ the Luthor lies innocently, though a smirk is fighting it’s way onto her lips._

_Kara licks her lips, “ You know, I have x-ray vision. “_

_“ You know, I’m your girlfriend but I’m still a Luthor. “ Lena retorts with a quick kiss on Kara’s cheek._

_“ Damn. “_

_“ Be patient, we’re almost there. “_

_“ Are we there yet? “_

_“ No, Kara. “_

_“ Now? “_

_“ No, “ Lena shakes her head and glances at the hero, she wonders how she got so lucky._

_“ What about now? “_

_“ Okay, you can take the blindfold off now. “_

_Kara fumbles over the cloth laced with lead and the first thing she sees is her family and friends gathered. Lena watches her girlfriend endearingly as the Kryptonian’s lips twist into a huge grin._

_Winn stands next to the Luthor and whistles, “ How did you resist the pout and get her here without spoiling the surprise? “_

_“ I told you, “ Lena flashes a smile at the agent, “ I have my ways. “_

_“ You are something else, Luthor. “_

_“ Happy 14th Earth birthday! “ Alex approaches her sister with a big cake in her hands._

_Kara, in her excitement, almost blows the cake into Alex’s face. If it isn’t for Lena’s quick reminder, the cake would have gone to waste._

_Alex mouths quick thanks to the Luthor while Kara blows out the candles. The room erupts into a chorus of cheers and whistles._

_“ I thought you never wanted to bake cakes again after that time, “ Kara smiles sheepishly as a distant memory floats into her mind._

_“ And I still do, “ Alex groans while walking away, “ this is Lena’s creation. “_

_The Kryptonian widens her eyes as her mouth forms a huge ‘o’ and she faces the Luthor, “ And you said you couldn’t bake. “_

_Lena’s shoulders rise while a small grin appears on her face, “ I wanted to do something special for you. “_

_“ You didn’t have to. “ Kara blushes and gives a dismissive wave of her her hand._

_Lena feels her heart melt at the sight of Kara blushing and she desperately wants to press her lips against the Kryptonian’s._

_“ But, “ Kara says while pulling the Luthor closer to her, “ thank you. “_

_The hero has a hand on the small of Lena’s back as she pulls the CEO in for a deep kiss. Lena’s hands trail from Kara’s jaw to the nape of her neck. The two savours every second of their kiss, and Lena knows the only girl she wants to press her lips against is Kara Danvers. Her heart fills with a warm bubbly feeling and she just wants to freeze this moment, just the two of them in their own world._

_“ And you guys say Alex and I need to get a room. “ they hear Maggie’s snark remark from behind._

_The couple breaks into soft giggles as they pull away and Lena keeps her eyes on the Kryptonian’s blue orbs, etching one thing into memory. Not the words they seem to speak, but rather the way they make her feel._

_Loved._

* * *

 

Lena’s certain that the world is supposed to come alive and make her feel like she wants to stay so badly she’ll do anything. It used to, but with every passing day, her world feels duller, a little too grey. She doesn’t know when everything began to lose its color, but she knows why. _Kara_ was the one who made her look forward to waking up in the morning, she made her see the beauty in the little things. _Kara_ made her world vibrant and she loved every bit of it. As much as she tries to hold on to that world, it’s seemingly slipping through her fingers no matter how much she tightens her grip.

It’s been two weeks since it happened. While the city mourns for the death of Supergirl, only a handful of people mourn the death of Kara Danvers. A small wake was held by her sister, in an attempt to provide some closure. This is the first and last time Lena will see her body before Clark sends her off with a proper Kryptonian funeral for the hero which they’ve all agreed to out of respect for Kryptonian customs.

“ I was beginning to wonder when you were going to show up. “ Alex greets her with a warm embrace as she arrives at Kara’s apartment. 

“ I … just had stuff to do, “ Lena lies with pursed lips as she avoids the agent’s gaze.

“ It’s alright, I understand. “ Alex nods with the same anguish in her eyes and she invites the Luthor in.

The moment she steps through the entrance, a fresh wave of tears threaten to spill. She couldn’t bring herself to come here since Kara’s death. This is the first time in weeks she’s been at her apartment, though she has bought over the apartment. She doesn’t want to forget Kara, and all the memories they’ve made in this apartment. Lena remembers the first time she set foot in the apartment, _the first dinner they’ve had, the game nights, the cuddling on the couch_ , the thoughts she’s been trying to repress are fighting its way to the surface now.

She draws a deep, shaky breath into her lungs and she looks around the room. Everyone is gathered around the coffin, they seem to have been for a long time now, even James, who has flown in from Metropolis. They take turns to embrace the Luthor, well aware of the fact that apart from Alex, she is the other one who will bear the brunt of Kara’s passing.

“ Shall we begin with a few words? “ Clark clears his throat and speaks to everyone in the room.

Alex speaks first, followed by Eliza, then Clark, and the rest of her friends. Lena sits quietly in a corner, listening to the way they spoke about Kara. They knew her well, _but they didn’t know her like Lena did_.

“ Lena? “ Eliza rests her hand against the Luthor’s shoulder, “ Would you like to say a few words? “

Lena looks up to see everyone’s eyes on her, she swallows the lump in her throat and nods slightly. She stands from her seat and approaches the body for the first time. The Luthor’s hand trembles as her fingers trace over the edge of the coffin. 

A tear escapes her eye and begins to roll down her cheek the moment she sees Kara’s lifeless body lying there with her eyes closed. Her lips are curled up in a subtle, almost unnoticeable smile. It hits the her then that she’ll _never_ see those blue eyes, she’d _never_ see the widest smile on Kara’s face when she brings potstickers back for supper, she’ll _never_ hear the quiet content sigh Kara makes when she holds the Luthor. The third wave of grief crashes into her, as the realisation sets in. 

_Lena will never see the woman she loved so much ever again._

Lena bites her lower lip to prevent herself from crying even further and she turns to face Kara’s family and friends,  “ Kara … “ the Luthor can hardly bear to hear her name, but saying it brought on a different kind of agony. 

Lena shuts her eyes momentarily, inhaling a deep breath in hopes that her voice wouldn’t crack when she speaks.

“ _She was my sun_ … “ Lena says as Kara’s smile flashes through her head, “ and she brought out the better side of me. “

She sees Alex nodding slightly and Winn balling his fists so tightly to repress his emotions. Lena brings a hand to wipe away the tears from her cheek, her fingers tightened around the sweatshirt she’s been holding. There’s so many things Lena could say about Kara, but the fact that the Kryptonian’s no longer here to hear it is what’s stopping her.

“ She believed in me when no one else did, “ the Luthor forces out in a strangled voice, “ and I _loved_ her. “

The room falls into a heavy silence with the exception of Eliza’s sniffling. Lena folds the sweatshirt and places it neatly by Kara’s side. Lena had worn the sweatshirt everywhere for the entirety of the week, Kara’s scent was gone sometime towards the end of the week and replaced with the Luthor’s. 

Lena leans close to her girlfriend’s corpse and whispers. “ Wherever you are, I hope you’ll never forget me. “ With that, the Luthor places a soft kiss against Kara’s icy cold forehead.

She steps away from the coffin, and watches as Clark moves a hand over the coffin, sealing it forever. Lena feels a gentle hand on her shoulder and she glances at Alex who stands next to her. Kara’s family and friends are gathered around the coffin and Clark inhales deeply.

Exhaling, he begins the rites, “ You have been the sun of our lives, “

_ Comparing Kara to the sun was an insult, Kara was more than that, Kara was her fucking universe. _

“ Our prayers will be the sun that lights your way on the journey home, “ Lena feels Alex stiffen beside her as Maggie runs a hand down her girlfriend’s back.

“ We will remember you in every dawn, “ Clark forces the words out of his throat while he notices his best friend looking at the ground with tightly clenched fists.

“ And await the night we join you in the sky. “ Lena feels a strange heaviness in her limbs while she stares blankly at Kara’s coffin.

“ Rao’s will be done. “ 

Clark lifts the coffin and leaves through the window, the silence in the room is too much for the Luthor. So she leaves. 

Lena is barely a few steps out the door when Maggie calls out to her, she turns to face the detective out of politeness.

“ Alex and Eliza had cleaned out some of Kara’s stuff, “ Maggie says while she holds a box in her arms, “ and they thought it’d be good for you to have it. “

The Luthor hesitates when she sees a streak of red cloth spilling from the side of the box, _Kara’s cape_.

The detective catches Lena tensing up instantly, “ It’s not much, but I’m sure it matters to you. “

Lena bobs her head as she takes the box from the detective’s arms, “ Thank you, Maggie. “

Maggie shoots the Luthor a sympathetic smile as she reenters the apartment, “ If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call. “

Lena doesn’t touch the box for days, as if opening it would be equivalent to opening Pandora’s box.

* * *

 

_It’s close to midnight, the sky is pitch black, save for a single star in the heavens. Lena hears the soft thud the hero makes as she lands on the balcony of her office and she swivels around to face her girlfriend as she enters with a huff. Instantly, she knows something is wrong when Kara doesn’t embrace her upon entry._

_“ What’s wrong? “ the Luthor approaches Supergirl with a concerned expression, ready to allow the hero to rant._

_“ Nothing, “ Kara responds curtly and exhales sharply as she paces around Lena’s office._

_Lena softens at the sight of her girlfriend and she wraps her arms around the Kryptonian’s waist from the back. Resting her cheek against Kara’s shoulder blades, the Luthor speaks, “ The crinkle says a lot, honey. “_

_Kara turns to face Lena and wonders how she can see through her so easily, “ There’s been another attack and I’m trying my best to stop them but nothing seems to be working! “_

_“ Take a deep breath, Kara, “ Lena coos gently, rubbing a hand down the hero’s back soothingly, “ you’ve been overworking yourself lately. “_

_The Kryptonian caves as she takes in Lena’s scent, “ Maybe you’re right. “ she nods._

_“ You know I’m right. “ Lena shoots a warm smile at her as she opened her arms for Kara._

_Kara smiles and allows herself to melt in the Luthor’s embrace, “ Can we go home and watch a movie? Maybe cuddle a little? “_

_The Luthor giggles quietly at her girlfriend, her universe, “ Of course we can, we’ll pick up some potstickers on the way back too. “_

_“ You’re the best and I love you. “ the words slip out of Kara’s mouth so easily she doesn’t think twice about it._

_On the other hand, Lena is slightly taken aback and she gapes at the hero in surprise. Kara notices Lena stiffening in her arms and she pulls back slightly with a raised eyebrow._

_“ What’s wrong? “_

_“ You … “ Lena stutters, “ you just said … “_

_Kara scrunches up her face in confusion, “ What did I say? “_

_“ That you loved me, “ the Luthor’s voice comes out a little strangled._

_Kara feels her face flush and she stumbles over her words, “ I … Uh … Well … “_

_Lena smiles amusedly and cups the Kryptonian’s face with her hand and leans in to give her a quick kiss, “ I love you too. “_

* * *

 

It’s early even for the Luthor, the sun has barely risen, but Lena is wide awake. Truth be told, Lena can’t remember the last time she’s had a good night’s rest. The phone in her hand blinks, signalling that the battery is down to its last ten percent. Sighing, she sits up from her spot on the couch. Her hands tremble as her thumb hovers over the play button, just _one_ more time, she thinks to herself.

The video plays again, it begins with Kara’s giggle. Each time hurts as much as the previous one, it’s practically a stab to the chest. But she could see Kara again, at one of her happiest moments, and that’s all that matters.

“ There they are, “ Alex whispers quietly, but the camera catches it loud and clear.

Maggie shushes her girlfriend as the camera catches Kara and Lena with their lips locked in a passionate kiss. 

“ Holy shit! “ the agent gasps and looks into the camera, her eyes widened with shock.

Thanks to the hero’s super hearing, Kara breaks their kiss and uses her x-ray vision. 

“ You two are the worst! “ Kara exclaims as she turns a bright crimson, and Lena exhales softly, mentally cursing the detective and agent for ruining their moment.

“ Okay we’re gone! “ Alex declares, but they didn’t move an inch from their spot.

Lena feels her chest tighten at the sight of Kara’s cheeks flushing, and the video continues to play. Her phone slips out of her hand and she allows it to land on the carpeted floor with a soft thud. Once again, she finds it too hard to continue watching. The love that existed between them is nowhere to be found now, all that exists is the Luthor’s longing for the hero.

“ Have I ever told you that you are my favourite person? “

There’s a soft laugh, “ No, “

“ _Okay, Miss Luthor, you’re my favourite person in this entire universe._ “

She props her arm on the armrest and rests her head in her palm, her eyes flit to the box Maggie gave her the other day. It sits in a corner by the door with Kara’s cape still hanging from the side, though it’s usually out of sight, but Lena doesn’t forget about it. Picking her phone off the ground, Lena stands and saunters to the box. A thin layer of dust has collected on the surface and the Luthor gives it a gentle blow when she kneels beside it. She pulls it out of the dusty corner into the dimly lit living room. 

Drawing a deep breath to prepare herself, Lena lifts the cover. She doesn’t know what to expect, and things aren’t as bad as she thought they would be. The first thing she reaches for is Kara’s cape, treading her fingers over the fabric lightly. She lifts it out of the box and pulls it close to her chest, it’s almost as if the Kryptonian is back here with her. Draping it over her shoulders, she shuts her eyes and pretends it’s Kara embracing her from behind. Lena indulges in it for a good minute before she continues digging through the box. Kara’s diary, a couple pictures, a few objects that meant something to the both of them. 

There isn’t much, maybe Alex wanted to keep some things for herself, Lena muses. Her fingers find themselves in contact with something cool, and the Luthor peers into the box, wondering what it could possibly be. Kara’s phone. The one she’s called everyday for the first three days of her passing just to hear ‘ _Hey it’s Kara, I’m probably too busy to answer right now, so leave a message_!’

She holds the phone as if it’s some sacred object, this was a piece of Kara too. Lena stares at the screen while the phone boots up. Someone switched it off, she assumes Alex has pried too since the battery is still full. Unlocking the phone, the messages and missed phone calls begin to show up.

‘ _78 unread messages from Winn_ ’

‘ _7 unread message from James_ ’

‘ _1 unread message from Clark_ ’

’ _31 missed calls from Lena_ ’

‘ _3 missed calls from Alex_ ’

Lena grinds her teeth as she skims through the texts, they missed her as much as the Luthor did, so how could they act as if it’s just a terrible accident? She’s prepared to switch it off when a soft ding breaks the silence in the room.

‘ _Good morning, Kara. Day 18 and I still wish you were here_.’

Her eyes scan the message over and over again, Winn is in the same boat as her, he’s the only one who hasn’t seem to let her go as well. She stares at the blinking line, wondering if she should respond. She knows she can’t respond, she can’t do this to Winn, it’ll be too much.

There’s only one person who can respond — _Kara_.

The Luthor is a brilliant woman, but this has to be the most ingenious idea to pop into her mind yet. She’s on her feet in an instant, getting ready for the day with a newfound motivation. If she can make this work, she can bring Kara back, partially. And something is still better than nothing.

* * *

 

_Exhaling frustratedly, Lena pushes her work away and leans back against her chair. She’s hit a wall in one of her collaborations and even flying out of National City in an attempt to solve it is turning up futile._

_She missed Kara, though it’s barely for a few days, she hates to be away from the Kryptonian. Kara calls often to check up on her and Lena does so too, but something just feels off without having the reporter near her._

_She wishes Kara is here with her, her presence would be more than comforting and she tries to imagine the soft thud Supergirl makes when she lands on the Luthor’s balcony. Lena hears a soft thud but chalks it up to her imagination, there’s no way Kara would be here._

_“ Hey, honey. “_

_Lena furrows her eyebrows with her eyes still shut, is she hearing things now?_

_“ Are you asleep? “ she feels someone whisper into her ear softly._

_She opens her eyes to see her favourite person standing next to her desk, a huge smile finds its way onto her lips as she leaps into Kara’s arms._

_“ What are you doing here? “ the Luthor sighs contently as she takes in her girlfriend’s scent while the two embrace._

_“ I missed you, “ Kara admits with a small shrug._

_Lena chuckles softly, “ So you flew here at three in the morning? “_

_“ That’s what friends are for. “_

_The two break into a fit of giggles at the inside joke they’ve had for the longest time and Lena is so grateful to have such a wonderful woman in her life. The Luthor’s eyes flit to the Kryptonian’s soft lips momentarily before Kara presses her mouth against hers. Lena moves her hand down the small of Kara’s back to pull her closer, wanting to get rid of all the distance between them. Being apart for a few days have taken its toll on the couple, and neither one has intentions of letting the other sleep alone tonight._

* * *

 

Everything at the DEO seems to have returned to normal, everyone felt the loss of Supergirl, and they’d have to cope without a Kryptonian superhero now. The Luthor still has unrestricted access to the DEO, she did help them sometimes, on Kara’s account, but there might no longer be anymore opportunities anymore. 

The Luthor sends a text to her secretary to clear her schedule for the day while waiting for the elevator, she’s been overworking herself since the passing, often filling her schedule up so she didn’t have time to think about Kara. Her finger hits the send button just as a familiar voice calls out to her and she looks up with a little dread.

“ Lena? What brings you here? “ Alex’s lips twist into a pleasant smile, one that masked all her grief. 

Lena lies easily, returning a similar smile, “ I’m looking for Winn, I need his help on some projects at L-Corp. “

Alex nods with a small ‘oh’, the air between them stays awkward till Alex reaches her floor. 

“ I’ll see you around, “ Alex says with a tight smile and exits the lift.

The Luthor nods, “ Take care, Alex. “

She exhales deeply as the elevator continues to rise and eventually comes to a stop at the top floor where she knew Winn would be working. The agents have gotten used to her casually striding around, but she hasn’t been here since Kara’s departure — _she didn’t have any reason to._

Lena finds Winn staring blankly at his screen, his head probably swirling with thoughts about Kara. She has been just as distant and aloof over the past few weeks, momentarily thankful that she’s snapped out of it.

The Luthor places a gently hand on the technician’s shoulder and calls out to him, “ Winn. “

He stirs from his daze and spins his chair around to face Lena, “ Oh, Lena, what can I do for you? “

“ I need to speak to you, “ she says softly while surveying the area, wanting no one to eavesdrop, “ in private. “

“ Okay … “ Winn responds a little uncertainly but leads her to one of the empty training rooms where Kara used to train.

Silence fills the air once the door shuts and Lena breaks it almost instantly.

“ I switched on Kara’s phone today, “ the Luthor declares while she pulls Kara’s phone from her bag, “ and you sent a text to her. “ 

Winn swallows uncomfortably and gestures with his hands, “ I … I miss her, alright? “

“ So do I, but I have a plan, “ Lena watches the agent as he shifts his weight from one leg to another uneasily, “ and I need your help. “

Winn begins to pace around, footsteps echoing in the large room, “ If it has anything to do with her, I don’t want a part in it. “

“ _What if I told you I want to bring her back?_ “

Winn pauses with his back facing the Luthor but the tensing of his shoulders doesn’t escape her sharp eyes, “ _Are you mad?_ “ he whispers almost inaudibly.

“ No, I’m not, “ Lena strolls closer to him, “ I just want her back as badly as you do. “

“ _But she’s gone!_ “ the agent turns with his jaw clenched tightly, “ _She’s not buried on Earth, she’s floating out there in space!_ “

“ Tell me, “ Lena walks in front of Winn and eyes him with a serious glare, “ did you ever stop wishing that you could’ve done something more to help her? “

Winn avoids the Luthor’s fierce gaze while playing with his fingers, swallowing, he murmurs a soft ‘no’.

“ So help me, Winn, “ Lena pleads, “ _help her come back to us._ “

It doesn’t take much persuasion, the agent exhales deeply and nods, “ Okay, I’m in. “

Lena lets a small smile slip through her lips and she begins to explain the details of her plan to Winn.

They start almost instantly, digging up anything and everything Kara left online. Her tweets, her emails, her texts. Anything that could be used to recreate her.

* * *

 

Winn spends many nights writing the program, though he doesn’t let it show, a piece of him desperately wants Kara back too. Once that was done, all that’s left is to feed the program all the information it needs.

It takes them a full month, when everyone is seemingly past their grief, they’re desperately clinging on to the fragments of Kara. On the day of the second month after her death, Kara is given life again.

“ We should be good to go, “ Winn lets a small smile slip as he looks up from his tablet.

The duo sits in one of L-Corp’s labs, prepped with the seemingly best technology in National City and on top of that, all the privacy and security they’d need. No one else knows what they’re up to, and they both agreed that it’s better that way. 

Lena’s hands quiver over the start button, she’s been pinning all her hopes on this experiment, if it fails … it’ll feel like she’s let Kara down. She feels a hand rest gently on her shoulder and she draws a deep breath. Winn’s small gesture reassures her and she prays with all her might that it would work as they’d hope.

There is a soft beep as the programme starts up, it’s a simple instant messaging interface with only one person you can message — Kara. 

Lena stares at the blinking line for a few seconds before her hands begin to move over the keys, she begins with a simple message. 

‘Hey Kara.’

The programme replies instantaneously, with a casual ‘What’s up, Lena?’ as if Kara never left. Lena clenches her jaw at the insensitivity of the artificial intelligence.

She tosses a quick glance to Winn, “ Talk to her, remember, the more you feed the program, the more it becomes her. “ the technician reminds gently.

The Luthor nods while her fingers jump from one key to another with precision. 

‘I wish you were here.’

‘I know, I’m not physically there, but we are talking now, aren’t we?’

Lena scoffs quietly, “ How will this ever replicate Kara? “

“ It won’t ever be Kara, _but what else do we have to lose?_ “ the words come out harsher than he had intended and he pauses.

But the Luthor nods in quiet agreement, after all, she’s already lost the real Kara.

‘ Lena? Are you still there? ‘

“ Go on, we didn’t work so hard just to stop now. “

The sounds of clicking keys fill the room as a conversation continues, Winn takes over at some point, and they continue for hours in the brightly lit lab.

* * *

 

It becomes some sort of a routine to the two, Winn drops by in the morning just to have a quick chat before heading to the DEO and returns during lunch to brainstorm on how they could improve the AI. Lena only enters the lab when Winn’s around, afraid that she’d become addicted to it, besides she still had a company to run. 

Needless to say, within a few days, it’s become a habit for them to see each other daily. Winn catches Lena sending a video of Kara’s last birthday party to the AI when he steps in during lunch on a Friday afternoon. They’ve developed features to send pictures and videos just a few days after launching the AI. Everything seems to be going smoothly, the AI is taking up Kara’s online mannerisms, to the extent of making typos.

Winn is still frankly in a little shock at how much it feels like Kara, and he’s sure Lena does too, though never of them speaks about it. Everything just feels too surreal, but they’re just glad that there’s a fragment of her with them now. 

He doesn’t speak till the video finishes, but an idea pops into his head as he watches Lena stiffen at Kara saying ‘ _you’re my favourite person in this entire universe_ ’.

“ Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in. “ Lena clears her throat and quickly closes the video.

“ Don’t worry about it,” the technician shrugs it off easily as the Luthor scrutinizes him intently.

“ Is something bothering you? “

“ Well, I have an idea, kind of. “ Winn rubs the back of his neck with uncertainty.

Lena looks at him pointedly after a long silence, “ I’m waiting, Winn. “

“ _What if we could replicate her voice, have her talk to us instead of through messaging?_ “ 

Silence ensues as the Luthor’s brain works, her eyes flit from Winn to the screen with her messages with Kara. She’s unsure of her hesitation, but whatever grief still fills her heart pushes her to agree.

“ How would we go about it? “

The next step doesn’t take as long, after all they’ve already collated all of her data from the first time. Winn’s idea slowly transitions from mere words to a legitimate program, and it’s had a positive effect on the two.

* * *

 

“ Hey honey, how’s your day going? “

Lena sighs in quiet relief at the sound of her favourite voice, “ Not so good, that’s why I called. “

“ Do you want to talk about it? “

“ It’s the experiments with the synthetic flesh again, and I don’t want to bore you with details, “the Luthor replies while she leans back into her chair.

Kara, or rather Bot Kara chuckles in response, and Lena has to remind herself that all of this is artificial. 

“ You’ll never bore me, Lena. “

“ I just wish you were here, “ the Luthor admits as she stands from her seat to step out on the balcony, “ the real you. “

There is silence from Kara, the program probably scrambling to find an appropriate response, and it reminds Lena of how flustered the real Kara would get, how she’d stumble over her words and fidget with her glasses. The edges of her lips curl upwards into a small smile and she hears a response from Kara.

“ _You could make me real again_ , “ Kara responds in a casual tone, “ after all you and Winn have developed me from a simple messaging program to a talking AI. “

Lena doesn’t know how to react, though, what Kara is suggesting isn’t entirely impossible, given the technology and science available at L-Corp is practically the best, she’ll be taking science to a whole new level. The development of synthetic flesh was hailed as a major breakthrough already, just a few more tests and experiments and they can help millions of people. She’s almost pulled the phone away from her ear when she hears Kara talk.

“ I know you can do it, Lena, if not for me, then for the good the people. “

“ I love you, Kara. “

“ And I love you too, Miss Luthor. “

The lack of emotion in the response doesn’t affect Lena much, eventually she could alter the AI to allow it to feel like Kara fully.

* * *

 

The shift in their moods doesn’t go unnoticed by the people around them. Alex has noticed the gradual change in Winn’s demeanour, though she initially assumed that Winn is finally letting go, she’s proven wrong when she catches him sending a text to Kara.

She doesn’t speak to him about it, instead she discreetly follows him to L-Corp during one of his lunch breaks. 

Alex was given full access after she got caught by security sneaking around looking for Kara at L-Corp, there was an emergency that day and Kara was too busy making out with the Luthor to answer her phone. Winn didn’t go to the top floor where Lena’s office is, rather, Alex watches as the lift moves from the lobby to the basement.

What did Winn have to do in the basement of L-Corp? 

The agent frowns to herself as she takes the next elevator down, hoping that she wouldn’t lose him in the huge building. The elevator dings as it arrives and Alex steps into the white and silent corridors. The sound of her footsteps ricochets against the walls and she progresses down the narrow hall filled with doors. Peering into the first door, she sees that they’re all laboratories, she could only doubt herself, what if Winn is just working on some confidential project with Lena?

Alex is prepared to turn around and head back when she hears a voice.

_ Her sister’s voice, Kara’s voice. _

She freezes and waits, afraid that she might be hearing things now. A giggle echoes down the hall and the agent traces it to the last room at the end of the corridor. Determined to find out what the two are up to, Alex peeks through the tiny glass window on the door. 

Alex blinks multiple times just to make sure she’s not hallucinating because she sees Lena and Winn standing around a body, but not just any body, Kara’s body. She barges through the door without any warning, shocking the Luthor and the Schott.

Lena looks up first, her face is a mix of confusion and shock, “ Alex? “

“ What the hell is going on? “ she demands a little too emotionally, her feelings are controlling her after she’s seen Kara’s body lying on their cold metal bed like a science experiment.

“ We can explain, Alex, “ Winn begins to say, “ it’s not how it looks … “

“ Not how it looks? “ Alex retorts incredulously while placing her hands on her hips, “ you have Kara’s body right there! “

The Luthor moves to the older Danvers, “ This is a mere replication of Kara, it’s not actually her body. “

Alex grinds her teeth as she studies he body on the table, true enough, it’s missing the scar above her eyebrow. 

“ Explain yourselves, now, “ the agent snarls with anger. 

“ I think it’s better if I show you, “ Lena purses her lips as she leads the way out the door.

Alex shoots a stern glare at Winn who would usually shrink back in fear, but this time he can only look at her in hopes that she will understand all of it.

“ I want answers, Lena, “ Alex presses in the elevator, Lena couldn’t escape now.

Lena sighs and nods, giving in to the agent, “ Six months ago, Winn and I developed an AI with Kara’s data so that we could continue talking to her. “

Alex folds her arms across her chest without breaking eye contact with the Luthor, “ And why was there a replication of her body on the table? “

“ We improved the AI to be able to respond to us verbally, with Kara’s voice, “ Lena replies as the elevator doors open, “ and now we’re trying to recreate her. “

“ What you’re doing is insane, Lena, “ Alex says as she follows the Luthor to her office, “ and you need to stop it right now. “

Lena holds her words till they’re in her office, away from prying eyes and ears. The moment Alex shuts the door behind her, the Luthor speaks.

“ Is that what they’re calling it now? _Insanity?_ “ Lena scoffs while striding towards her desk, “ I’m insane for trying to get what I want? “

“ It’s not right, and you know it. “ the agent follows Lena to her desk, stitching her eyebrows together in disapproval.

“ Give it a try, Alex, “ Lena urges as she turns her laptop towards Alex’s direction, “ talk to her.” 

Alex exhales sharply with no intention of playing along, “ Lena, “

“ Alex? “

Alex is stunned into silence, unable to comprehend the reality of everything. Her eyes widened as she stares at the screen of Lena’s laptop, she hasn’t heard Kara’s voice in months and to hear it now, even though it’s a replication, causes her grief to come undone.

“ _K-Kara?_ “ the older Danvers swallows the lump in her throat and takes a shaky seat in front of the laptop. 

“ Yeah, it’s me, “ the bot responds, “ but not entirely. “

“ I can see that … “ Alex chokes with tears building up behind her lashes, “ How ..? “

“ It’s simple really, Lena and Winn took all the data I left online and turned me into a bot, “ hearing Kara’s voice after so long doesn’t bother Alex, rather it felt like she’s been looking for this all this while.

She looks up at Lena who is sitting patiently, watching her. Alex runs a hand through her hair as she ponders whether she should jump on board with this insane project. She wants Kara back, badly, Alex misses her sister too much to say no. 

“ Okay, “ Alex nods shakily, “ if … this can bring her her back … okay. “

Lena shoots the agent a small smile as she reaches out for Alex’s hand, “ I’m glad you understand. “

“ All of this still feels wrong, “ the agent murmurs as she wipes away her tears with the back of her hand.

“ It could help millions of people, the synthetic flesh could help amputees, the program can help people cope with their grief, help preserve their memories of their loved ones as well as to continue making new ones, think of it that way, Alex. “

“ Is this how you let her go so quickly? “

“ _If I’d already let her go, why would I bother to recreate her?_ “

* * *

 

All remaining experiments goes smoothly and soon enough, Kara Danvers is given life again. The news goes viral with the AI and the synthetic flesh, Lena and Winn has helped countless of people across the globe. Through countless of improvements, comatose patients are able to have their minds uploaded into the program, essentially granting them a second chance at life.

It’s hailed as a major breakthrough, and Lena gets to live it out with the woman she loves for as long as she wants. Everything in the Luthor’s life seems to be smooth sailing, _until it’s not_. 

A soft knock against the wooden door of her office breaks her focus and she looks up from the documents scattered around her desk.

“ Alex, “ the Luthor responds with a warm smile, “ to what do I owe the pleasure? “

“ _She died today_ , “ Alex replies as she storms into the office and tosses today’s paper on Lena’s desk.

The CEO is puzzled for a moment and she reaches for the paper, her eyes instantly land on the headlines in bold.

‘ _Second year death anniversary of Supergirl_ ‘

Alex inhales deeply as she tries to control her emotions, “ _And we forgot … How could we forget?_ “ her hands are balled tightly into fists and her nails are digging into the her palms.

Lena stands from her chair shakily and looks out at the city, the sky had long turned to darkness and not a single star is visible tonight, does it look like the same sky that Kara had left behind? 

She tries to remember Supergirl landing on her balcony, the soft thud she makes as her boots collide with the floor, she tries to remember how Supergirl saved her from falling to her death, she tries her hardest but nothing tangible comes to mind.

_ How could she forget? _

“ _Can you remember what she was like at all?_ “

A single tear falls as the Luthor turns to face the Danvers, and her lips quiver as she whispers a quiet ‘no’. She’s been too caught up in trying to preserve Kara that she hasn’t noticed that she’s lost everything real. Her memories of Kara Danvers are hazy and she can no longer differentiate between the real and artificial ones. 

“ We need to stop now, before we forget her entirely, “ Alex says before exiting the office, leaving Lena in a heavy silence filled with guilt.

_ How could she ever forget about Kara? _

There’s a full moon out tonight, brighter than it has ever shone. Lena stands on the balcony of her apartment with Supergirl’s cape draped around her, staring aimlessly into the darkness of the night sky. She’s alone again after a long time and the past two years feels like a long and cruel joke. Deactivating Bot Kara feels like she’s lost Kara all over again, but there’s no way she could continue living with herself if she continued to let her memories of the real Kara fade. She doesn’t know how to fix things anymore, maybe replicating Kara just made things worse. 

She scoffs under her breath, maybe she should have known better than to believe that she is deserving of a happy ending. 

“ I’m sorry, “ the Luthor whispers to the moon as it gradually disappears behind thick grey clouds. 

A faint clap of thunder rumbles in the distance and rain begins to pour unrelentingly from the heavens, just as her tears push past her lashes, the realisation sets in that there can only be one Kara Danvers.

But Lena no longer remembers what she was like.

**Author's Note:**

> hmu @ damnsawyer.tumblr.com if u wna.  
> two songs i've listened to while writing this is  
> broods // all of your glory  
> kream // talking to the moon  
> :~)  
> thx 4 reading


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